I hope that when she asks about me, you don’t leave anything to the imagination. I want her to know how alive and absolutely enamoured with the world I am. I want her to know that I never once met a human that I didn’t love in some way. And I want her to know that you let that go. Absolutely out of nowhere.
And I wonder if she’ll sleep at night knowing that you could do that to someone. And I wonder if she’ll cripple under the weight of your expectations. And I wonder if she’ll worry that you still love me.
And if she does, I only wish I could tell her that she has nothing to worry about because there is nothing in the world that would move me to take you back. Absolutely nothing.
The day after I got dumped when I was home for Christmas, I dropped a letter off at my ex boyfriend’s house calling him out on all of his bullshit. I left the house looking absolutely glam, despite feeling wretched and made a playlist that I blasted in my car for the drive over. After I rang the doorbell and left the letter on his front step, I treated myself to the most obscene Starbucks drink (one of the ones with whipped cream, and chocolate, and sprinkles and ALL that good stuff). While I like to act put together all the time, it’s difficult to fake it, especially in the wake of something so unexpected and devastating. Inevitably, I ended up tearing up as I sat alone at the Starbucks, mulling over the ridiculous turn of events my life had just taken.
A woman my mom’s age walked over and asked “Is everything alright? I hate to see anyone upset at this time of year!” She hugged me and rubbed my back as I explained that I had just gotten home from another semester at school only to be broken up with by my boyfriend of a year and a half. She hugged me again and said, “I wish I could say or do something to make you understand just how much easier this is going to get. I know it feels like the end of the world right now, but I promise that things will look up!” As she walked back to her table, she paused, looked over her shoulder and said “and for the record, I have a son that would be very interested!” with a wink.
Just as the loveliest stranger I have ever met predicted, things got better. Perhaps even better than when I was in the relationship in the first place. I guess all that’s left now is to find that son of hers…